She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list