I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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