Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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