what day is it and did you see me today?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
