I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
