apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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