so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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