Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My feet surprised me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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