anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
