I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize