How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize