did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize