Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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