I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
