why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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