i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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