This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
