I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
