She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
