i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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