i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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