I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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