I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
