u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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