Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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