Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
please don't ironically join a cult
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