Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
