omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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