Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You need Xanax blowdarts
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
