I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
