we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
