you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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