Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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