If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize