She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
