I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
