Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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