Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
