People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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