we have officially lost it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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