I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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