I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize