let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
