i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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