After last night, I could never be a politician.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please don't give away my fajitas
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