To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
