this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
