Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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