franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
