butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
