well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I could fuck to npr.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
