my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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