Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Go christen that room with your naked body.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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