Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Small penises have feelings too.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
