Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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