We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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