I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
