ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
