does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
