Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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