One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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