Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
