so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize