Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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