You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize