her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
